Birthdays, Earth Suits, and Such...

Yesterday was my birthday.  My body is 42 years old.  I don’t feel 42.  When Westin wakes up hungry in the middle of the night, I feel 112.  When both kids are crying at the same time and I want to lay down and cry too, I feel like I’m 5.  It seems to fluctuate with the situation.  Maybe it all eventually averages out.

But here I am, 42.  With a 2 year old and a 7 week old.  And I feel so very blessed.

  

 I had a great birthday.  I got to be with my entire immediate family – my mom, dad, sister, brothers, their families, and my wonderful husband and two kiddos.  We went to the aquarium and then out to a delicious lunch.  It was hectic and loud and exhausting and SO MUCH FUN.

While at the aquarium, Vallyn was looking around and around at everything as I carried her, and in the process head-butted me in the lower lip.  It immediately swelled up and felt completely bizarre.  I felt like it was totally gigantic and that everyone was staring at it, wondering why only a quarter of my mouth looked like Angelina Jolie’s. 

Which reminded me of the last time I had a cavity filled and left the dentist with Vallyn in tow and a mouth full of novocaine - drooling, droopy-faced, and slurring my words.  At the time I thought “What will people think if they see me like this? I can barely speak!” 

Which made me wonder “What if I had this feeling every day; if I was like this all the time?”

Which got me to thinking about how much we as a society often tend to just look at the outsides of people and quickly pass judgment because of how they appear. 

Which made me think of my sweet, beautiful Vallyn, and how she has Down Syndrome, will have it every day of her life, and how because of that people will pass judgment on her.

Which made me wonder how I will explain to her why she is different when she asks, because she will.

Which reminded me of the phrase “Earth Suit”.

Which reminded me of the first funeral I ever went to for a child.

It was the saddest and yet most beautiful event I had ever been to.  It was for a friend’s two year old who had passed away suddenly and unexpectedly.  The church was packed and there were a lot of kids attending.  The pastor called all the children to the front, sat them down, and tried to explain what had happened to this group of her peers; her friends.  I don’t remember exactly what he said and I wish to this day I had a recording of it.  But he simply said that we are all here wearing our “Earth Suits”, kind of like what astronauts wear.  He explained to these children that this little girl’s “Earth Suit” had just worn out.  It had worn out earlier than most peoples did, but that everybody’s wears out sometime.  And that this Suit we are given is just a temporary thing.  What is most important is what is kept inside this Suit – our spirit; our soul.  And that this precious little girl’s soul – that part of her that was most important - was now in Heaven with God.

Hearing that sermon many years ago impacted me so much.  And I think maybe it was just one of those small seeds that God has been planting along my life’s path to help prepare me for the here and now, for this special gift of Vallyn He has given us, even though I didn’t know it at the time. 

So I think I know how I can explain to Vallyn (and her brother and hopefully others) a little bit about life, and people, and differences, and Down Syndrome.

I can say to her …

“Vallyn, you may look different from other people, but you know what?  We are all different.  That’s just our Earth Suits.  Mommy’s earth suit is short and is achy from fibromyalgia.  Daddy’s is taller and quite hairy.  Your aunts’ and grandma’s suits have Turner’s Syndrome, and Parkinson’s.  Your grandpas’ suits have allergies and arthritis.  Your cousin’s suits have cerebral palsy, and Down Syndrome.  And Vallyn, your Earth Suit has Down Syndrome too.  And you know what?!  IT DOESN’T MATTER ONE BIT.  Our Earth Suits, our bodies – they are just temporary homes for our spirits and souls to live in while we are here on earth.  And your spirit, my love, my precious Vallyn, is beautiful and perfect and amazing.  And that is what matters the most.” 

I like to imagine when we are all together in heaven someday (I hope!) and we are free of our Earth Suits that we will all run and play and laugh together, unencumbered, with our perfect heavenly bodies and spirits. 

But today my earth suit feels 42, and very tired, and has baby weight on it, and needs a shower and haircut and mani/pedi desperately.  And yet… I’m so thankful for it.  For these arms I can put around my husband and kids and get big birthday hugs from my family.  For helping me do the dishes, and laundry, and breastfeed.  For breathing and thinking and typing.  For creating my children. 

Happy birthday to me.  Happy Earth Suit to you.